wirralbagpuss (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
wirralbagpuss) wrote2005-01-16 06:45 pm
wirralbagpuss) wrote2005-01-16 06:45 pm
Family and Friends
A few lines about my family and friends. As you may have read in my ealier posts i have no brothers or sisters. Of my parents i still have my Father, more of him later. My Mother died in August 2002 after a long and brave fight against Cancer. I had to be strong and help my Mother through those difficult times. But seeing her suffer like she did, particularly in her final week was soul destroying. I remeber everyday of her last week so clearly. Sitting there in her bedroom watching her life ebb away. The death rattle still haunts me, as does the sight of seeing my Father crying. I tried so hard not to show any emotion. I had to stay strong. My hope now is that there is an afterlife and that my Mother is now at peace, and that i will see her again. It is the only hope i have worth living for now.
Since My Mother's death my relationship with my Father has been strained. But it has got very bad over the last few months. It hurts me to not be able to speak or have a father-daughter relationship with my Father. I think emotionally he has found it very difficult to cope. Hell he even tried to kill himself after my Mother died. God knows i found it hard too, but i have made myself a promise to try and move on in 2005. However my Father does not seem to be able to do that. And that hurts. It is keeping my pain open too. Life is so unfair.
So what of my friends. I don't have that many. Sure i know alot of people at work and i get on well with them all, but i don't think i could trust them. That has to be earnt. I know this as i was stabbed in the back by a "friend" who i suspect was only hanging out with me because my Mother was her Mother's boss. However i do have some good friends, one of them called Dawn is currently teaching in Holland. We are planning on meeting up in Paris at the beginning of Febuary. I am looking forward to that very much. I don't keep in touch with my old schoolfriends much except for Chloe. We are very good friends and i met her again last year after a few years of not seeing each other as we lost touch. 2005 see the start of new friendships. I am a member of a discussion group looking at deaf issues and it was through this that i met makropulos. I met him for the first time in Liverpool with Chloe the other weekend and we got on really well. We just sort of "clicked". It was fun. I'll speak more of our Liverpool meeting another time.
So there you have it. My friends and family in summary!. I hope 2005 will bring me more hope and maybe a knight in shining armour !! :)
Since My Mother's death my relationship with my Father has been strained. But it has got very bad over the last few months. It hurts me to not be able to speak or have a father-daughter relationship with my Father. I think emotionally he has found it very difficult to cope. Hell he even tried to kill himself after my Mother died. God knows i found it hard too, but i have made myself a promise to try and move on in 2005. However my Father does not seem to be able to do that. And that hurts. It is keeping my pain open too. Life is so unfair.
So what of my friends. I don't have that many. Sure i know alot of people at work and i get on well with them all, but i don't think i could trust them. That has to be earnt. I know this as i was stabbed in the back by a "friend" who i suspect was only hanging out with me because my Mother was her Mother's boss. However i do have some good friends, one of them called Dawn is currently teaching in Holland. We are planning on meeting up in Paris at the beginning of Febuary. I am looking forward to that very much. I don't keep in touch with my old schoolfriends much except for Chloe. We are very good friends and i met her again last year after a few years of not seeing each other as we lost touch. 2005 see the start of new friendships. I am a member of a discussion group looking at deaf issues and it was through this that i met makropulos. I met him for the first time in Liverpool with Chloe the other weekend and we got on really well. We just sort of "clicked". It was fun. I'll speak more of our Liverpool meeting another time.
So there you have it. My friends and family in summary!. I hope 2005 will bring me more hope and maybe a knight in shining armour !! :)
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Apparently you've got your LJ settings configured so that only LJ friends can add comments - which means that potential friends can't add comments...Might be worth changing that.