Less Than 24 Hours To Go and I am Sooo Nervous !!

Well this time tomorrow i will be in hospital and hopefully the knee op will have been done. I am sooo nervous! I know i have had the knee op before but i think the part that is making me nervous is being given the general anthestic. I can cope with the hard task of getting back on my feet and walking again. I can cope with the pain and i can cope with the challenge. But the thought of that stuff making me all woozy and feel like a ton of bricks is not a thrilling prospect. In the big scheme of things my knee op is nothing. I can begin to understand a little of what my Mother must have felt when she had Cancer from an emotional point of view. To be in her shoes. I am also extremely apprehensive about seeing my Father again. I have not seen him since Christmas Day. Thank God he will not be with me tomorrow afternoon. Clatterbridge will bring back so many painful memories for the both of us and for him to see me unconcious if only for half an hour unril i come round is something that i would not inflict on him. Anyway i want my privacy, so Wednesday morning is fine with me.

Burnt the plastic today and got my food shopping. I have not done any house work and still need to give the house a good spring clean but for some reason i cannot be bothered! All i've done is watch some stupid film on tv and drink wine !!! (Not had any wine this weekened!!!!) Oh well i guess that is what you do on a bank holiday !

Being alone is hard. Once my knee is better i must make more of an effort to find my knight in shining armour. I know i am a strong person who had had to cope with so very much pain over the last 8 / 9 years but now i want to share my life with someone. Trouble is i am so very shy and i find it difficult to get on well with a man. Perhaps i need more practice!!! I certainlty cannot carry on my life as it is. Change has to come and it has to come this year. I dont want to end up old surrounded by lots of cats !! Bridget Jones i am not !!!