I thought you might like to know how i am getting on as it is now a month, maybe a bit longer since i was put on medication to treat my depression. I am happy to say i am feeling very well and the medication is more than doing it's job. In fact it has been the best part of over a year since i felt so contented and not feeling those awful horribile clouds of depression dragging me down. What a wonderful feeling it is to be finally free of it all and to have some happiness again. That is so important. When i look back over the year, certaintly since Febuary 2009 i realise now how ill i really was with the depression. It was a gradual decline and very nearly got the better of me on several occasions in the latter half of 2009 and in January 2010 when i came very close to checking out of Hotel Planet Earth. No laughing matter and very frigtening indeed. Especially when you have a sudden rush to jump in front of a train or jumping of the platform and walking into a tunnel. God knows how i got the will power to stop myself but it was too damned close on occasions. All that is behind me now. I am currently very happy with having such wonderful friends who have supported me throughout some difficult times and have helped me recover in the long walk back towards the light and leaving the darkness behind. I cannot forget the kindness and friendship i have been given and i feel very honoured, privelledged and very lucky to have such wonderful friends. As to my life in general, well someone said to me recently during a conversation " it was meant to be". We were talking of something entirely different but it moved me profoundly and i will never forget that conversation and observation as i had thought long and hard about this and i realise yes life is like a jigsaw, there is a purpose to one being here on this ball of rock, you just have to find the jigsaw pieces and aim to complete it and see the overall picture, a bit like a tapestry of life really. I have now seen a part of that bigger picture, the threads that have been in my life for a very long time which is now beginning to reveal themselves. There are many things i have yet to learn and understand, but it is very fulfilling to have sudden clarity to some of the things in my life and that can only be a good thing.
Anyway i wanted to dedicate this song/video to all my friends. I love Tina Arena, she is such a damn good singer and this particular song has very special significance to me and i have known this song for a very long time, but so very brilliantly and powefully sung by Tina Arena! For me this song is about friendship and the friends that stay with you when the going gets rough and will not abandon you even when you are at your lowest, about staying strong when the storm is raging around you and above all hope. I have listened to this song on my ipod in times of feeling very low and has kept me going and also in good times when i can also enjoy the song and enjoy in celebration.
I know that the snake that is my depression will inevitably come back and haunt me again even with the medication. I am sure of that, but i will deal with that when that occurs. But for now i am simply so very glad that i am feeling good and happy. I cant argue with that!