Peace Offering Rejected

[wirralbagpuss]

In my naivety i tried to friend wildeaboutjb aka Rebecca tonight as a christmas peace offering. I friended wildeaboutjb as a christmas peace offering, and yet she defriended me without even giving me a chance to prove my good intentions. I am left shaking and in tears over this. I am not given a chance to show that i can be peaceful in contributions and thoughts on Jeremy. I had hoped this would be a reconcilliation of sorts. i am in tears now. I was willing to try and show that tonight as a Christmas peace offering. I It was a genuine one and made in the spirit of Christmas and friendship. But now it seems i cant even talk about Jeremy. I am really shaking and crying now. I thought Christmas was about forgiveness and reconcilliation as well as the time of giving. This really is like having a dagger thrust through my heart and the knife being twisted.
Oh Rebecca how i wish you could see in my heart how much i care about you and how much i regard you as a friend. I wish you could hear the prayers and see the candle i lit for you last month. I do not hate you. I am not a sociopath or anything like that. I just wanted to be a friend. I consider you a friend and i miss you so much. My heart is broken. You are not willing to forgive and yet i have forgiven you. Long ago. I dont want to fight, i dont want to go over past events. All want to do is just be a friend. Or at least talk about Jeremy at the very least.
I will not be able to sleep the rest of the night now as i will be breaking down in tears because this has hurt me so badly. If i did not care i would not be this upset. But i do care, very much so, and i am in tears that a simple peace offering had been cruelly rejected and torn to shreds and so close to Christmas too. I am not an evil person, but i am being made to look that way when in fact i am not evil, not nasty or anything like that. I just love people and i care about my friends. That is all.